PAGAN SEXUALITY -
Yours, Mine, & Ours . . .
This can be a real can of worms, and in fact it is a rather "hot topic!" With most people their minds will in all probability go directly to group sessions that are quite kinky! We all are aware of how alluring the idea of witches dancing skyclad under the moonlight, with wild orgies of random mating during and after rituals can be. Thanks to Hollywood, that's the image that occurs all too frequently with folks who aren't pagan! There are even a few people who are pagan and like to project this rather sensational image. However, the truth is that most pagans I know are much more conscientious about who they have sex with and for what personal reasons. They are intelligent discerning adults who approach their religion, spirituality, and sexuality with a far more conservative ideal, knowing the difference between them. This is not to say that they are "prudish" about themselves or their sexuality. So lets take a little closer look at this topic. . .
YOURS, is just that yours, not mine, or even necessarily ours, but just that, it is YOURS! I am not passing judgment on anyone, nor any group for their personal sexual practices. I would request that they do the same for anyone else. What works for you is great, it must only work for you. However, if your form of spirituality includes a free for all at the end, then hopefully it is done with discretion and concern for the safety of those involved. It is also hoped that one would not exploit minors, or expose children to inappropriate sexual behaviors but, respect them for the children of the Goddess that they are!
Unfortunately, one of the things that attracts many "pagans" to the religion is the idea that they can behave in ways that are not accepted in the "norm of society." We seem to attract many fringe elements to the Craft, this is a plus in some ways and in other ways maybe not. Just because you don't like the Christian value system, can't hold down a job, or you have anyone of the myriad of illnesses that are either physical or mental, doesn't make you pagan. It makes you different, it makes you, YOU. Each of us are unique individuals, with unique problems, talents, and attributes. Being pagan is not a religion, is more of a lifestyle, however loosely defined. The definition is up to each individual, and if explored at any length you will find that it varies from person to person, and it is uniquely yours.
MINE, is my space, my thought, and certainly my opinion. I do share it openly with folks because I teach and they ask. Although I am certainly no prude, my body and my space are sacred to me. As a High Priestess, and as a woman I consider it my right to choose who I share that space with. This was not always so in my life and just like many other women, it was a lesson I had to learn. It was not necessarily the most fun lesson to learn but, a valuable one none the less. I do not believe that this is a new concept, even in the days of old we chose our consorts, the temple priestesses bodies were considered sacred, not for public consumption. Because of my personal beliefs, I am less than amused at the suggestion that a woman's body is a sacred altar, and that we should be worshipped. The human body is our temple, it is where we live and it is sacred to each of us whether you are a man or a woman. We have a right to chose and a right to refuse, in the name of the Goddess. My sexuality is also private and NOT a part of my duties or responsibilities as a High Priestess.
OURS, is what other people see. The part of us that goes public. Some times I am asked to speak to groups of people about the Craft. I frequently get phone calls from people. The questions they ask tell me a lot about the public image that people have of us. Of course, there are many questions on a variety of subjects but, here I want to address the issue of skyclad and sex. So many times when I answer questions about what witches do, sex literally comes up. I have heard and read many arguments that in "real magic" sex is used as a tool, and "real witches" are not "uptight" about their bodies or their sexuality. Many people who come to our religious path are also naturists (nudists), this is fine, but it is a lifestyle, not a religion. I also know some folks who are both pagan and naturists. Since I do not believe in judging others, I respect their right to dress (or undress), and I expect the same from them. And again, just because they are comfortable doing things in the nude, does not mean that they want, nor have indiscriminate sexual tastes. Personal freedom and choice is a core belief for most of us.
The image that we put out there is important! It is how we are perceived, not only as individuals but, as a group. If we are thought of as irresponsible people, who practice indiscriminate sex, this really harms our image, and does nothing to help promote all the positive things that we all are working for. Hollywood and Christianity has done great deal to damage to our reputation and image. We, as a group, need to work on creating our own "good press." When answering questions about sexual behavior and practices in the Craft, I usually tell people that sexual energy is very powerful and is best used by two people who have a serious relationship, know each other well, and trust each implicitly. Skyclad is something that is usually done only by very private, carefully selected groups, this is not something that you are likely to be invited to join over the phone! Those that prefer kinky sex or have slave fantasies, it is just that, a personal preference.
I believe that most people who practice the Craft or other pagan religions are intelligent and care about presenting a positive public image. What other people think about us does matter, it is where their opinions are formed and how they take us seriously as a group.
Blessed Be, StarrWalker
Last updated Friday, September 18, 1998 08:19 AM. Copyrighted Temple of The Triple Goddess, P.O. Box 38113, Phoenix, AZ 85069-8113. All rights reserved.